吳銓高詞 [盟誓]

[吳銓高]

[詞]【雨淋鈴】盟誓
輪聲嗚噎 , 欲離仍挽 , 意黯魂絕。
盈胸愛恨難訴 , 千言萬語 , 如何傾說。
眾目睽睽哭抱 , 怎平抑凄切。
念過往 , 多載同窗 , 兩小無猜巧天設。
志堅那怕春離別 , 嘆人間 , 好事多磨折。
今朝海誓何恃 , 誠一片 , 倆情相悅。
待我三年 , 應把藍圖美境鋪列。
緊握手 , 同闖情關 , 儷影焉能缺。

吳銓高 毛筆書法2 [詞][雨霖鈴]盟誓--- [卷25] 989

[碧雲天]

大作情真意切
但總覺得少了些詞的婉約韻味,似乎有些用字直接了些
只是天天個人看法

[吳銓高]

謝謝碧雲天版主垂注 , 後學自多磨練。

[百名雲主]

雨淋鈴不易寫，深感吳兄功力之厚。

大作前半（至生離別止）應係效柳七，讀來不錯，惜不夠悲切。淺見以為雨淋鈴必要悲切連連，聲如哭訴方稱善。
另自嘆人間句起，忽似曲語，藍圖夢境四字猶覺生硬，雖用之情深，猶恐失之意短也。

弟深喜此調（押入聲韻，最是詞中妙品），因多慚言，望兄長勿怪。

[吳銓高]

[詞]【雨霖鈴】盟誓【原創 : 吳銓高】人98古韻
輪聲嗚噎 , 欲離仍挽 , 意黯魂絕。
盈胸愛恨難訴 , 千言萬語 , 如何傾說。
眾目睽睽哭抱 , 怎平抑凄切。
念過往 , 多載同窗 , 兩小無猜巧天設。
志堅那怕春離別 , 嘆人間 , 好事多磨折。
今朝海誓何恃 , 誠一片 , 倆情相悅。
待我三年 , 當把藍圖美境鋪列。
緊握手 , 同闖情關 , 儷影焉能缺。

The Commitment【By Charles Wu】
The ocean liner sent its last whistling .
I held the hands of my darling ,
And said good-bye to her gloomily.
I had too many words about love and sadness ,
Confusion made me speechless.
We embraced with tears down occasionally ,
Because we were so dreary.
In the past, we were classmate for years.
Our sentiment was pure and sincere.
With mutual trust , we should not worry
About our departure in spring of this year.
We just blamed our fate to be so eventful.
Now, we made a solemn pledge of love in faithful,
Based on our devotion and sincerity.
Wait for me ! My dear !
I 'll fulfill my nice blueprint in three years.
Hold our hands firmly,
To the land of love bravely.
And, we 'll stay together permanantly !

吳銓高 詩情畫意 [詞]【雨霖鈴】盟誓------------ [卷J] 828


輝字吳銓高詩 [詞]【雨霖鈴】盟誓------------ [卷D] 807


吳銓高 毛筆書法1 [詞][雨霖鈴]盟誓--- [卷10] 705


吳銓高 毛筆書法2 [詞][雨霖鈴]盟誓--- [卷25] 989


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